Here are some Pro's and Cons to Family Integrated Churches:
Pros:
- They are as close to the Biblical model as we can find. The Bible is not filled with detailed instruction on how to conduct a church service. Even though there is room for debate on this, from the best we can determine the early church did the following: Preach the Word, administer the sacraments, share a meal, and share hymns. Nowhere is there mention of Sunday Schools and Youth Groups in the Bible. (Please note that just because they aren't mentioned does not, in and of itself, mean we should not have them.)
- They provide an encouraging environment for parents to disciple their own children. There is always that feeling in our current model that there is a safety net just in case we don't get around to doing it ourselves. This means that sometimes us parents just don't get around to it.
- They eliminate the need to recruit Sunday School teachers. If you have ever been in charge of this, you understand what a daunting and frustrating task this can be. Plus, not all Sunday school teachers are qualified for the job.
- They limit "counter recruitment" opportunities. Not everyone in Sunday School and Youth Group is there to grow in their faith or to ask honest questions. I have had many a Sunday lesson diminished as one child tries to mock and distract those who are enjoying and learning. Or maybe you were asked, as I was, when growing up to join the church youth group on a retreat because it was a great place to smoke pot.
- They are easier on Moms. Most people who teach in Sunday Schools are Moms who have kids in the Sunday School. This means after watching their children all week, they go to church and watch their own children, and everyone elses, and miss the the nourishment of the service.
- They help put families all on the same page and teach children and young adults that church is not an oddity reserved only for grown ups. Everyone hears the same sermon and can later chat about it. This is great news!
Cons:
- They go against our current tradition. This means that if your church switches to this "format" some people will leave your church.
- They can be a bit noisy. But not as noisy as you may think.This is especially hard for pastors who are producing a TV show each Sunday to be aired over the Internet or local television.
- They can be hard on Moms. It isn't always easy to sit in the service with your children. Of course, even in Family Integrated Churches kids and young adults aren't always perfectly behaved. There is no "format" that leads to perfect behavior. Some Sundays can be taxing. But your children can do this, and most enjoy it.
- There isn't the opportunity to teach Sunday School. For me, a now defunct Children's Pastor this is the worst part. However, most likely, you are the best person to disciple your own child.
A couple books worth checking out are Family Integrated Church by Mark Fox or Voddie Baucham's Family Driven Faith.
Comments and Questions?
So Doug, are you saying that everyone else is doing church wrong? What are you getting at here?
ReplyDeleteNo, it isn't a matter about being right or wrong when it comes to how we "do" chruch. It is a matter of searching the scripture for the best way and not always relying on traditions. (Though tradition does have some merit.)I think I saw a stat the other day saying we are losing 60% of our children to the world. I think that should give us all pause for thought about our current approach to training children in church and discipleship.
ReplyDeleteAs a mom of 3 little ones, I have to say I love the fact that my kids are in "Sunday School". Our church has a very dynamic kids program and they love going, so I'm very fortunate there. I see your "pros" points and we have taken our kids into the "big church" with us, especially if they have asked to go. They just can't focus on the sermon for any length of time and then I don't hear what's going on either. Interesting thoughts Doug.
ReplyDeleteKaryn,
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you love your Sunday School. What a blessing. More then anything I was trying to make others aware that this approach is out there and it does work for those who are looking for something like it. (Which I am finding out is more people then I would have suspected.) Yes,little ones are a bit squirmy at times and I have 3. It is surprising sometimes what they learn. God Bless.
I LOVE the idea of family integrated church. I think it is the ideal. Parents and children in corporate worship... ahhh. Sounds absolutely delightful!
ReplyDeleteI also see what Karyn is talking about. It is kinda nice to have a break from your kids and be able to concentrate...
From working with a variety of churches, we've had experiences from just about every point on the spectrum. Right now, we have a combination, kids 4 - 10 or so go to classes.
I think my ideal would be that there be nursery available for parents whose kids are under 3 who are having a difficult time in church. But, if the majority of parents were willing to train their small kids to sit during church, and even participate, it would be GREAT!
One difficult thing in my experience, has been what to do with children who come without parents... In the urban areas of the US there are so many 'unchurched' children who might come on the invitation of one of their 'churched' friends... What to do with them? They are not accustomed to sitting quietly through a service that isn't geared toward maintaining their attention...
Also when families come and there is no help available for their children, they feel extremely awkward when their children act up (especially when the rest of the families appear to have things under control). Sometimes they feel so badly they won't come back!
This is what happens for example in our church in Peru. There are TONS of neighbor kids that come every Sunday morning. When for some reason or another we don't have Sunday school, they have to sit in with the adults. Most of them don't have parents who attend the meetings who can teach them church etiquette, (but even if they did probably would still be out of control :S )
So, what I see is that family integrated church is fine for churched families but somewhat excruciatingly difficult for those unaccustomed to bearing with children completely unprepared for sitting even remotely quietly...(both the unfortunate parents and congregations alike)
In MY ideal world, there would definitely be family integrated church! :) Until then, I guess I'll have to wait until heaven ;)
amy in peru
Amy,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the very well thought out comments. Family integrated churches have many forms. I do know several that do have child care up to 3 years of age.
Proponents of Family Integrated churches would say that the best way to evangalize is the reach Fathers first and then get them to bring their families. But certainly, no one wants to turn away young ones and those who are the ones most willing to come. Your situation with children in Peru seems to be what the Sunday School movement was originally designed to reach.
I sort of like Sunday Schools myself. I am just not really seeing them work that well in mass here in the US. And I can't really make a Biblical case for them. Ken Ham has an interesting book called "Already Gone" which explores some of the issues. This book is more of a proponent of reforming Sunday School than the Family Integrated model.
There may be multiple solutions. As a whole, I would just love to see the Church promote more family discipleship when possible.
Love the Post, have the book of Voddie Baucham.
ReplyDeletedo you not thing that with to some culture these church can´t stand ?
to add, these Church a Friendship oriented not so?
God Bless
My experience is that these churches are very friendly. I do think they can do a better job of being relatable to our current culture without compromising core biblical beliefs and vision. Part of the attraction, however, that draws people to a more family integrated church is because they are different. People see the church, as a whole, failing to disciple our children well and are looking for an approach that less resembles our culture and more resembles what they find in the Bible.
ReplyDeleteMy church offers sunday school classes, but 1/2 of us (mostly homeschoolers) opt out and keep our kids in the service. We all hang out together afterwards, we are a family regardless. I love that our church allows for both.
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear that everyone feels comfortable bringing there children to church. Plus the church doesn't feel divided.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting post and comments! I was surprised as I went down the list to see that a friend of mine from our small church (Children of Eve) commented here, too. :)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, we do send our children to the Sunday School and serve in this ministry at our church. While I do pray that the children are being fed and discipled in the classes, I also recognize that this is our responsibility as parents not the Sunday School. My expectation from Sunday School to reinforce what the kids are learning at home and to expose them to Bible stories and Biblical truth. I honestly do not think young children can learn much from sitting in a traditional sermon and the length of time and stillness required to do that is not an age appropriate expectation for young children. Most will either tune out and daydream or act out.
I appreciate Amy in Peru's comments about "unchurched" kids coming with friends. Points I had not thought of.
Great discussion!
Natalie,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments. I really appreciate the dialog on this. I wish we had more Christians in American willing to think hard about how to reach and train our children. I do think we sometimes underestimate a childs ability to comprehend. I have discovered they learn more then you think in church. And less then you may think in Sunday School.
However, one of the greatest things a young child can learn is to obey their parents. A child who learns the discipline of sitting through a church service learns to both obey their parents and to honor God. I believe this will create a greater probablity of a child growing up to obey the Word of God then one who learns to sing "Jesus Loves Me," say a Bible verse, and color. (None of which are bad!...and yes our children do all of these!).
On issue of "unchurched children." When we ran the Sunday School, we did have children come who's parents were not believers attend. This was a wonderful opportunity. However, it was very difficult to get through to them given they were given no reinforcement the rest of week at home and were given an opposite world view at the public school.
I think we would be much more successful if we could get the whole family, especially the Dad, to come as a family together. Just the fact that a child can come and see their Dad sit in church and worship God is invaluable.
Do I think that if half the churches in America get rid of Sunday Schools, we should start some programs for unchurched kids. Yes, it would be a good idea. However, 99% of the churches in America are already targeting these unchurched children. However, most churches are not full of Dad's. The Bible is pretty clear that getting Dad's to be followers of Christ is key to evangelism. I have found that Family Integrated churches are a place (though not the only place) where Dad's play large and important role and feel challenged by their Biblical responsibility.